Your husband. Your wife. Your boyfriend, your girlfriend, the person you've built a life with. The words change; the nights don't. You're here because somewhere between "everyone drinks" and tonight, it stopped feeling like everyone, and started feeling like a problem with your name on the worry.
Take the 1-minute check-in Skip to the part built for me →People will tell you what counts as too much — units, nights per week, whether they miss work. None of that is your question. Your question is why you count their drinks and they don't. Why you know the sound of a bottle opening from two rooms away. Why the evening has a mood forecast and you're the one who checks it.
If drinking is costing you peace, that's already "too much" — whatever the number is.
You don't need them to agree with that. You don't need anyone to certify it. What's happening to you is something you're allowed to take seriously all by yourself.
Most of what's written about loving someone who drinks assumes a wife worrying about a husband. Sometimes that's exactly it. And sometimes it's a man worried about his wife, a boyfriend worried about a boyfriend, a girlfriend watching her girlfriend pour the third glass, someone whose partner doesn't fit a box at all.
Same 2 a.m. Same rehearsed conversation. Same hope, same going back on it.
Recovery spaces haven't always felt safe for LGBTQ+ people, and plenty of apps still write as if every couple looks one way. This one doesn't assume. Your relationship is your relationship; the help works the same.
The check-in asks plain questions about what's actually happening — not about them, about you and the life you're living alongside it. No signup, no email, nothing stored against your name.
At the end you'll have language for the thing you've been carrying without a name. That's worth a minute even if you never do another thing.
Take the 1-minute check-inIt won't diagnose anyone. Nothing on the internet can. It'll just tell you the truth about your own answers.
Every app about drinking is built for the person holding the glass. This one has a whole section for the person holding everything else:
Your side works whether they ever start or not.
Show me the part built for me More on living with a partner's drinking →Written for your side of it, not theirs. No day counting, no advice about how to fix them — and nothing that tells you to leave or to stay. That part is yours.
Day one is called "You're not imagining it."
One a day for five days, then I leave you alone. Unsubscribe in every one.
If you're in crisis, or you've had thoughts of hurting yourself, please talk to a person tonight — not an app. Call or text 988 (US), any hour, free and confidential.
If you're afraid of your partner — not just hurt, afraid — the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788. They talk to people of every gender, in every kind of relationship. You don't have to be in danger tonight to call.
And if you're worried about what happens to their body if they stop drinking suddenly, that's a question for a doctor, not a website. Ask one before they quit cold.
Built by someone who was on the other side of this for 38 years. The app is free to start. On Android, get it on Google Play.